Our life has been a whirlwind of craziness over the past month. I have been working a lot of hours, meeting with many people, helping them find what matters to them and implementing a plan. If we haven't had a conversation about what I do for people, we really do need to sit and visit. I'm busy, and have a lot of demand, but I'm never too busy. I've had several nights recently where I get home just as the kids are getting in bed, or even after they've been asleep for a bit. I've had a little bit of a reprieve this week, and it's great to spend time with my little family. On top of the craziness of work, we have been pondering what the next move for our family will be in regards to the garbage going on with our home. Through a couple of awesome experiences we have made a decision... Sort of.
Two weeks ago, after an amazing General Conference weekend, Liselle and I felt the need to really sit and discuss what we were going to do with our home. I had felt strongly that it was time to make a decision, petition the Lord for confirmation, and move forward. This whole process has been a real mental/ emotional roller coaster. It's now been 7 years since we moved into the Balmoral neighborhood. I feel we were brought there by our Heavenly Father to help us grow, learn, and to be trained for things in the future. When we were in the process of finding a place, we bid on one home, but were outbid by a ridiculously small amount. We missed out on a couple of others, one was even destroyed by a huge fire. Eventually we found our current home. We got in just as the housing bubble was expanding, and saw many amazing people move in. It truly was a little piece of heaven for us. Through great neighbors, an amazing ward, and the positions I have held in the ward, I got to know so many amazing families. In our 7 years, I've been able to serve in our ward as 1st and 2nd counselor in the Elders Quorum, Executive Secretary, Elders Quorum President, 1st and 2nd counselor in the Bishopric, and currently as Ward Mission Leader. I've sat in many living rooms with these amazing people, and truly love them all. We thought that we would never leave because we love the people so much that it would be impossible to let them go.
The weekend of the 13th and 14th, Liselle and I decided to attend our ward temple night, and to go with a purpose in our hearts. We had decided that we were going to move out of our home, and wanted to know if that was the right thing to do. As we walked inside those hallowed walls, I felt peace and calm. After handing my recommend to the man at the desk, he greeted me with a simple, "Brother Fitzgerald, welcome to the house of the Lord." As soon as he said that, I felt the warm fuzzies all over my body, and even got teared up a bit. Through the entire session, I felt so at peace with everything. With work, with things at home, with my marriage, with my relationships with those I love and care deeply about. Most of all, I was finally at peace with the idea of leaving our beloved ward and neighbors. After talking with my sweet Liselle, she had the same feelings. We also used the next day, which happened to be fast Sunday, to focus on that answer, and ask for guidance on which avenue to take in leaving. That's where the 'sort of' above comes from. We are moving soon, that decision is made. We just don't know which way we are leaving yet; walking away (strategic default), or patching things up a bit and renting.
Throughout this whole process we have been supported by so many people. Our families have been great in helping us find resources and professionals to talk things over with. Our friends and neighbors have expressed concern and support for us in trying to make sense of everything. We've had several chats (in person and on Face Book), emails, texts and phone calls asking us how things are holding up. There have been ups and downs as we learn of each lead that takes us towards another dead end. There have been worries of our house just tipping over with a stiff breeze, snow and rain pouring in through the cracks, freezing winds blowing in to our rooms, rodents walking in through the wide open cracks, and many other crazy possibilities. I'm not sure how we held it together this long and never really freaked out, but I know that our support group has been a huge contributor. To all who fall into that category, thank you so very much.
With us leaving and starting a new chapter in our lives, we will miss many people. Some we may never see in person again, only through social media. Others will continue to be the same friends they have been through our time here in Balmoral. Regardless, know that you have been an influence for good in my life, and I will look to your examples always as ones of strength and service. If we never got along well, you still have had a positive effect on my life, because that's how I choose to see it. If I've ever hurt your feelings, or done something stupid, please forgive me. Above all, I hope that I have been half as good to you as you all have been to me, and that if you hear my name years from now it brings good feelings and memories.
Man, you'd think I was dying or something! Life is great, live yours in a way that matches the greatness you possess!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Act Well Thy Part
I've always loved conference, but this past weekend was so incredibly amazing that I felt the need to acknowledge it here. Some of you follow me on Twitter, others are friends on Facebook; as a result I'm sure many of you saw my conference related tweets. If not, go check them out. ;)
One reason I was so enthusiastic about live tweeting during conference is because I have several friends that do not attend church any more. Through many different circumstances they have decided to not attend. Regardless of why they left, I still have a deep love for them and want them to be happy. For me, happiness comes through the gospel, my family and friends, hard work, and a list of many other things. For me, the gospel is paramount in my happiness foundation, the chief cornerstone. While others have different formulas for happiness, I personally feel that the gospel will only magnify that joy and happiness. So I wanted to share that joy with anyone who saw my timeline over the weekend.
When I was younger, I served as a missionary for the LDS church from 1999 to 2001 in the bonnie land of Scotland in the Scotland Edinburgh Mission. In my two years I met some of the most amazing people, and through the marvel of social media, I've been able to keep in contact with them. One of the most recent has been Joanne McCafferty from my last area. She may kill me for talking about her here, but I'm willing to take the risk because there is a great lesson to be learned from her. When I was there in Wishaw, Joanne was a recent convert to the church along with her mother. They had us over for dinner many times, we had family home evenings, and did much teaching in their home. When I left to return home, they threw me a big farewell party that ended up in a huge water fight. They sent me home with a picture that still hangs on my fridge today. One day about 2 months ago she caught me on Facebook chat. We caught up and talked about our families and where life had taken us since we last spoke. As we talked I felt strongly that I should ask her if she still went to church. She told me that she hadn't been in a long time. It was a little hard to hear, but I knew she was still an amazing person, and it didn't change the way I felt about her and her family. We have talked several times since, and she has started praying again, I helped her download the gospel library app on her phone and she has been reading. As this has been going on, I have noticed a change in her, even though I haven't seen her in person for all these years. This weekend she took the challenge to watch general conference. She did, and from what I've heard, loved every second that she saw.
One of the things I've learned from Joanne over the past couple of months is that everyone has struggles. Some are much harder than others, sometimes we do feel absolutely alone, and there are times when the actions of others can be a great influence on our perspective in life. I met Joanne as a missionary 12 years ago. Through all those years, I'm sure Joanne thought of me still as a young missionary, just as I thought of her as that silly (in a good way) teenager I taught all those years ago. Relationships are remembered for what they were when you last saw the person. If it was a bad breakup, the other person will almost always be a jerk in your mind. If someone was overbearing, or came on too strong, that is how you remember them. If someone was a tall goofy dude who loves Star Wars, that's what you remember. It made me think about how awkward the conversation would be if I had stopped doing the church thing and the tables were turned. What if someone I taught and helped come into the gospel asked me if I still went and I didn't? I'm sure I'd feel guilty to some degree. How would I explain it to someone I testified to that I knew it was true that I no longer took part in those blessings? It made me a bit uncomfortable.
If you have served a mission when you were younger, or are going to serve, or are just getting back, I have one piece of advice: though you are released when you return home, you will always feel that love and sense of duty for those you served and lived amongst. They will look to you many years later for help, guidance, example, or just as a friendly ear to talk to. You will aways be Elder/Sister [Insert Name Here] to them. Think about what that means. This can ring true for friendships and relationships forged in school, work, and as neighbors. I have many friends on Facebook that I haven't seen since I graduated. I'd love to sit down and visit with all of them because they had an impact on my life. Whether it was a 'hi' or a smile in the hallway, or someone cheering extra loud at one of my basketball games, or even someone who may have been rude to me, I am the person I am today because of those things; and I wouldn't change it for the world.
One more quick lesson I've learned. In Scotland, our mission motto was, "What E'er thou art, act well thy part." I know, I know, my ward members in West Valley are rolling their eyes because I preach it a lot, but hey, this is my blog so I'm gonna talk about it. I asked Joanne what inspired her to chat with me that one evening 2 months ago. Her answer, "I saw you were online and felt like I should say hello." Did that mean she was looking for someone to invite her back to church? I am pretty sure that was the last thing on her mind, but through our conversations, invitations were made, encouragement was given during struggles, and the eternal friendship we have was instantly strengthened. The point is for each of us to be who we are regardless of location, circumstance, or company. Have I been a prefect example of this? No way Jose. Do I try? All the time. The struggle to find ones self, and then live within that identity is one we all face. Life gets stressful, some people just don't jive together, but we are all on this rock flying through space together. We might as well try to be genuine with each other and render help or service when needed regardless of whether it's solicited or not. To quote the wise Abraham Lincoln, "Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON DUDES!!!"
One reason I was so enthusiastic about live tweeting during conference is because I have several friends that do not attend church any more. Through many different circumstances they have decided to not attend. Regardless of why they left, I still have a deep love for them and want them to be happy. For me, happiness comes through the gospel, my family and friends, hard work, and a list of many other things. For me, the gospel is paramount in my happiness foundation, the chief cornerstone. While others have different formulas for happiness, I personally feel that the gospel will only magnify that joy and happiness. So I wanted to share that joy with anyone who saw my timeline over the weekend.
When I was younger, I served as a missionary for the LDS church from 1999 to 2001 in the bonnie land of Scotland in the Scotland Edinburgh Mission. In my two years I met some of the most amazing people, and through the marvel of social media, I've been able to keep in contact with them. One of the most recent has been Joanne McCafferty from my last area. She may kill me for talking about her here, but I'm willing to take the risk because there is a great lesson to be learned from her. When I was there in Wishaw, Joanne was a recent convert to the church along with her mother. They had us over for dinner many times, we had family home evenings, and did much teaching in their home. When I left to return home, they threw me a big farewell party that ended up in a huge water fight. They sent me home with a picture that still hangs on my fridge today. One day about 2 months ago she caught me on Facebook chat. We caught up and talked about our families and where life had taken us since we last spoke. As we talked I felt strongly that I should ask her if she still went to church. She told me that she hadn't been in a long time. It was a little hard to hear, but I knew she was still an amazing person, and it didn't change the way I felt about her and her family. We have talked several times since, and she has started praying again, I helped her download the gospel library app on her phone and she has been reading. As this has been going on, I have noticed a change in her, even though I haven't seen her in person for all these years. This weekend she took the challenge to watch general conference. She did, and from what I've heard, loved every second that she saw.
One of the things I've learned from Joanne over the past couple of months is that everyone has struggles. Some are much harder than others, sometimes we do feel absolutely alone, and there are times when the actions of others can be a great influence on our perspective in life. I met Joanne as a missionary 12 years ago. Through all those years, I'm sure Joanne thought of me still as a young missionary, just as I thought of her as that silly (in a good way) teenager I taught all those years ago. Relationships are remembered for what they were when you last saw the person. If it was a bad breakup, the other person will almost always be a jerk in your mind. If someone was overbearing, or came on too strong, that is how you remember them. If someone was a tall goofy dude who loves Star Wars, that's what you remember. It made me think about how awkward the conversation would be if I had stopped doing the church thing and the tables were turned. What if someone I taught and helped come into the gospel asked me if I still went and I didn't? I'm sure I'd feel guilty to some degree. How would I explain it to someone I testified to that I knew it was true that I no longer took part in those blessings? It made me a bit uncomfortable.
If you have served a mission when you were younger, or are going to serve, or are just getting back, I have one piece of advice: though you are released when you return home, you will always feel that love and sense of duty for those you served and lived amongst. They will look to you many years later for help, guidance, example, or just as a friendly ear to talk to. You will aways be Elder/Sister [Insert Name Here] to them. Think about what that means. This can ring true for friendships and relationships forged in school, work, and as neighbors. I have many friends on Facebook that I haven't seen since I graduated. I'd love to sit down and visit with all of them because they had an impact on my life. Whether it was a 'hi' or a smile in the hallway, or someone cheering extra loud at one of my basketball games, or even someone who may have been rude to me, I am the person I am today because of those things; and I wouldn't change it for the world.
One more quick lesson I've learned. In Scotland, our mission motto was, "What E'er thou art, act well thy part." I know, I know, my ward members in West Valley are rolling their eyes because I preach it a lot, but hey, this is my blog so I'm gonna talk about it. I asked Joanne what inspired her to chat with me that one evening 2 months ago. Her answer, "I saw you were online and felt like I should say hello." Did that mean she was looking for someone to invite her back to church? I am pretty sure that was the last thing on her mind, but through our conversations, invitations were made, encouragement was given during struggles, and the eternal friendship we have was instantly strengthened. The point is for each of us to be who we are regardless of location, circumstance, or company. Have I been a prefect example of this? No way Jose. Do I try? All the time. The struggle to find ones self, and then live within that identity is one we all face. Life gets stressful, some people just don't jive together, but we are all on this rock flying through space together. We might as well try to be genuine with each other and render help or service when needed regardless of whether it's solicited or not. To quote the wise Abraham Lincoln, "Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON DUDES!!!"
Monday, April 1, 2013
Kids, House Issues, and a Lesson Learned
So it's been a while, far too long in fact, and I am full of many thoughts and feelings... First; my kids are so great! I've been struggling with the fact that many kids like to express themselves in a less than enjoyable tone. Simply put, they whine. I've been trying to focus on the good, polite things they do, and magnify them, but at times it feels like I'm bashing my head against a wall. I know it's a part of parenthood, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with right now. After all is said and done, I love those little squirts to death!.
Some of you know about the issues we are having with our home, and the fact that several others are having similar issues. As this progressed into a widespread issue, I had a fear creep in, and now I'm beginning to see it come to pass. My fear was that as things progressed, and we found that there was nothing we could do to show liability on the builder or any outside party that was involved in the construction of this development, that we as residents would turn on each other. This issue is a major one to those of us effected. Many who don't have the issue feel sympathy for our plight, but that's about it. I don't blame them at all, I would be the same way if our roles were reversed. What I've come to see as we continue to peel back the layers and hit a dead end, or be told that there isn't anything at all that can be done outside of privately funding the repairs ourselves, is that we are starting to point fingers at each other. We can't go after the builder because we are well outside the statute of limitations. The city has immunity in the matter as well. The Geotech did an in depth analysis and gave his findings, but the ultimate decision doesn't fall with him. We don't qualify for any government grants because we are part of a townhome community with an HOA. Our HOA doesn't have any liability within their master plan because they only have to cover common areas, and homeowners are responsible for the structure. Insurance doesn't cover settling at all. The list goes on and on. So you can see where frustrations and anger could fester and explode. Unfortunately, I was involved in one. I wont go into details, but suffice it to say, feelings were hurt on both sides, and I never expect to hear from this individual again. Such is life.
With all of this stress and drama, we have been spurred into looking at our options for moving into the next phase of our lives. We are a growing family, and need more space. The problem lies with the fact that we would not be able to sell our home for what we want. We are lucky to not be upside down in our home, but with the issues, I have a strong feeling we couldn't sell it for what we would like. So that brings up the question, should we walk away? I don't really want to do that. I want out of the house, but not at that cost. Not yet anyway. Do we patch it up and rent? That's the most appealing option right now, but we don't know how extensive the "patching up" would need to be. Then we have to figure out where to go from here. My new job is awesome, but we've hit a lull financially the last month, and I don't have enough work history to go through new financing. So renting would be our best option right now. Where do you move a family of 5 that the kids are growing? Would there be any affordable options? These are the things that are flying around in my head.
On the work side, I completely love what I do! I sit with individuals and families and help them out in many ways. If we haven't talked yet, we need to. Even if you have things already in place, we need to visit. Going from a salary to commission career is a neat experience. Lately things have been a little tight with finances, and I'm truly glad for it. Throughout my unemployment we never really felt the financial pinch too hard. Thanks to having a good amount of savings, a food order or two from the Bishop's Storehouse, and a little help on our mortgage one month, we made it through. Then came the season of financial "ka-ching!" that we hadn't experienced before.Thank goodness we were disciplined and didn't get things like a sweet new TV, or the new car I want to get. As assets dwindle, I have realized that we didn't focus on replenishing our emergency savings. That lead us to the lean times we now face, and has helped us plan to hedge against those times in the future. I don't anticipate those times again, but we will be better off for it. This is a season where I am fulfilling one of the things promised to me in my Patriarchal blessing: that there would be times where I would be studying and working instead of enjoying some of the frills of the world, but that I would have the means to provide for my family and to help others. This in no way means I haven't done business or anything like that, it's just been a lot of small things with no big things peppered in, but that was remedied 2 weeks ago.
Then there's my sweet Liselle. Always standing by my side in support, love, and kindness. Lis, I love you with all of my heart. I don't know what I did to fool you into loving me, but I'm sure glad I did. ;)
To all of you, I give thanks for your friendship, examples, and service. For those in our ward, this doesn't mean we are moving right away, but we are looking into it. There have been many years where we have had no desire to ever leave, but with recent events, that has changed. Next week marks our 7th year in this home. We have grown a lot, laughed too many times to count, cried, fell in love with our neighbors and ward (in a non-romantic way), forged friendships that will truly last, played music, made costumes, and a million other things that will stay with us forever. Who knows, maybe we're just experiencing the 7 year itch, but with our house. Onward and upward!
Some of you know about the issues we are having with our home, and the fact that several others are having similar issues. As this progressed into a widespread issue, I had a fear creep in, and now I'm beginning to see it come to pass. My fear was that as things progressed, and we found that there was nothing we could do to show liability on the builder or any outside party that was involved in the construction of this development, that we as residents would turn on each other. This issue is a major one to those of us effected. Many who don't have the issue feel sympathy for our plight, but that's about it. I don't blame them at all, I would be the same way if our roles were reversed. What I've come to see as we continue to peel back the layers and hit a dead end, or be told that there isn't anything at all that can be done outside of privately funding the repairs ourselves, is that we are starting to point fingers at each other. We can't go after the builder because we are well outside the statute of limitations. The city has immunity in the matter as well. The Geotech did an in depth analysis and gave his findings, but the ultimate decision doesn't fall with him. We don't qualify for any government grants because we are part of a townhome community with an HOA. Our HOA doesn't have any liability within their master plan because they only have to cover common areas, and homeowners are responsible for the structure. Insurance doesn't cover settling at all. The list goes on and on. So you can see where frustrations and anger could fester and explode. Unfortunately, I was involved in one. I wont go into details, but suffice it to say, feelings were hurt on both sides, and I never expect to hear from this individual again. Such is life.
With all of this stress and drama, we have been spurred into looking at our options for moving into the next phase of our lives. We are a growing family, and need more space. The problem lies with the fact that we would not be able to sell our home for what we want. We are lucky to not be upside down in our home, but with the issues, I have a strong feeling we couldn't sell it for what we would like. So that brings up the question, should we walk away? I don't really want to do that. I want out of the house, but not at that cost. Not yet anyway. Do we patch it up and rent? That's the most appealing option right now, but we don't know how extensive the "patching up" would need to be. Then we have to figure out where to go from here. My new job is awesome, but we've hit a lull financially the last month, and I don't have enough work history to go through new financing. So renting would be our best option right now. Where do you move a family of 5 that the kids are growing? Would there be any affordable options? These are the things that are flying around in my head.
On the work side, I completely love what I do! I sit with individuals and families and help them out in many ways. If we haven't talked yet, we need to. Even if you have things already in place, we need to visit. Going from a salary to commission career is a neat experience. Lately things have been a little tight with finances, and I'm truly glad for it. Throughout my unemployment we never really felt the financial pinch too hard. Thanks to having a good amount of savings, a food order or two from the Bishop's Storehouse, and a little help on our mortgage one month, we made it through. Then came the season of financial "ka-ching!" that we hadn't experienced before.Thank goodness we were disciplined and didn't get things like a sweet new TV, or the new car I want to get. As assets dwindle, I have realized that we didn't focus on replenishing our emergency savings. That lead us to the lean times we now face, and has helped us plan to hedge against those times in the future. I don't anticipate those times again, but we will be better off for it. This is a season where I am fulfilling one of the things promised to me in my Patriarchal blessing: that there would be times where I would be studying and working instead of enjoying some of the frills of the world, but that I would have the means to provide for my family and to help others. This in no way means I haven't done business or anything like that, it's just been a lot of small things with no big things peppered in, but that was remedied 2 weeks ago.
Then there's my sweet Liselle. Always standing by my side in support, love, and kindness. Lis, I love you with all of my heart. I don't know what I did to fool you into loving me, but I'm sure glad I did. ;)
To all of you, I give thanks for your friendship, examples, and service. For those in our ward, this doesn't mean we are moving right away, but we are looking into it. There have been many years where we have had no desire to ever leave, but with recent events, that has changed. Next week marks our 7th year in this home. We have grown a lot, laughed too many times to count, cried, fell in love with our neighbors and ward (in a non-romantic way), forged friendships that will truly last, played music, made costumes, and a million other things that will stay with us forever. Who knows, maybe we're just experiencing the 7 year itch, but with our house. Onward and upward!
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