We all face adversity every day. Some of it is minor and short lived, sometimes it is major and seems to last forever. How we endure it and progress once it has passed is where character and our true self shines through. I've had many periods of adversity in my life, but I consider myself fortunate that I haven't had anything truly major or long lasting occur thus far in my life. Now some of you may be thinking, "wait, he was laid off and unemployed for half a year." or, "isn't his house literally falling apart around him and his family?" While the answer to both of those questions is a resounding yes, I have tried my hardest to have my mindset change from a "woe is me" attitude to a "come what may, and love it" attitude. My initial purpose in creating this blog was to share my insights and experiences in the hopes that some person might come across it and learn or be uplifted in some way. I don't have a following per say, so the reach of this blog is short, but maybe it's mainly for me to look back on and learn at a later date? At any rate, I wanted to share some of the mental struggles I've had recently in regards to my calling as the ward mission leader in my ward. So, here we go...
Last fall I was released as first counselor in the bishopric of our ward. I had loved (and still do love) the time I was able to serve in the bishopric. To be with the amazing men I served around for 8-10 hours a week was an incredible learning experience. It was an amazing experience to kneel each week with them and to pray for our ward members and for issues we felt were of importance to our ward. My testimony of revelation and priesthood keys was strengthened a hundred fold! When the call came from the stake executive secretary asking if I could meet with a member of the stake presidency, I knew what was coming. With my previous callings; from executive secretary, elders quorum president, and then into the bishopric, I knew the call was coming before I officially received it. I just felt it in my heart so strongly. So strongly that on each occasion I told Liselle that a phone call or message was on it's way, and each time, it came. This time was different. I knew I was going to be released because they didn't need my sweet wife to come with me. As I sat in the stake offices across from a man that I have come to love like a father, and the release came, I felt something I had never felt before... Lost. I didn't have a new calling immediately, so once I was officially released the next Sunday, I felt like a fish out of water. To go from having a lot of things to do, people to contact, callings to extend, temple recommends to issue, tithing to count, and talks and lessons to give, and then have absolutely nothing to do the next week was a shock to my system. To some it may be seen as a vacation or relief, but to me, I felt like I had no purpose. It was almost like being fired, not laid off, fired. That feeling was short lived of course. I knew that the Lord had something else in store for me, and that it was time for another amazing man to get some training in preparation for future leadership. A few weeks later, I was called as the ward mission leader.
I've always loved missionary work. As a young man, I went on several appointments with the missionaries, and even got to teach someone in my ward who chose to be baptized. I looked forward to my mission from a young age. I couldn't wait until I got that black name tag. As I've mentioned previously, I served as a missionary in Scotland, and loved the people and experiences I had there. I think about them every day. I had several testimony building experiences, and many other spiritual experiences that I hold sacred to my heart. After I returned home, married in the temple, and began having a family, I still had that deep abiding love for sharing the gospel with people. Even now, almost 12 years after returning home, I still cherish the experiences I had there, and all the other missionary experiences since. I am that annoying guy who always shares experiences from my mission. That is where my struggle comes into play.
Having served in many "visible" callings in the ward, I've had the worry creep into my head that maybe my influencing ability has now diminished. Instead of people seeing my thoughts, talks, lessons, and challenges as something from a leader and take it to heart, I worried I had become the guy who everyone tunes out and rolls their eyes thinking, "here goes Nic again..." Sometimes that just happens when you are an "old timer" in a ward. It got to a point where I was so frustrated with things that I really wondered if I was hindering the missionary work from happening because people were sick of hearing from me. Thankfully, I've learned that when good things are on the horizon, that there's another tricky guy who tries to keep us from moving forward. Opposition in all things. Good has bad. Right has wrong. Light has darkness. Star Wars has Star Trek, and so forth. I've given many people that same pep talk to help them get through struggles and have seen it work on several occasions. It didn't always immediately solve the problem, but they were able to face the adversity with a new resolve and eventually overcome it. I just needed someone to give me the pep talk for my own benefit. Luckily, I attended the mission training this past Sunday. That combined with giving myself the pep talk have strengthened my resolve, and so help me, the missionary work in the Balmoral Ward is going to move! It's been stagnant for months, and I'm not going to allow it any more!
One thing I have learned over the past couple of months is that there are may times when you aren't going to get that pat on the back, or pep talk, or encouragement you want. You may feel like you are the only one who cares at times (even though that isn't the truth), and become frustrated when a group of people seemingly ignore something you ask them to do. What should you do when you feel that way? That pep talk, or pat on the back may just have to come directly from yourself. Don't be afraid of giving yourself credit, and definitely don't push blame onto others for not pitching in. Sunday's training helped me realize that I have been doing good things trying to help the missionary work progress, and that I shouldn't get upset or frustrated when others choose to focus on something different instead of jump on my little wagon.
If anyone reads this and is struggling with adversity, I'll give one piece of advice. You can, and will, overcome it! You have the power within you to break through, climb over, dig under, or run around whatever wall you are facing. When you feel a little weak or incapable, know that you have a team of people there to help you. There are many who have conquered the same issue, and can give you help and guidance, and once you overcome it, it's your turn to help others. To close out, I wanted to share this very profound quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. "The future of this world has long been declared; the final outcome between good and evil is already known. There is absolutely no question as to who wins because the victory has already been posted on the scoreboard. The only really strange thing in all of this is that we are still down here on the field trying to decide which team's jersey we want to wear!” I'll echo a sentiment I shared with my dear friend Aubrey, you've chosen the right jersey, now you're being called into the game. Will you let the butterflies keep you on the sidelines, or will you get out there and give it your all?
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